Being fingered is an exciting feeling for both the guy and the girl. But much like intercourse, if the guy is too selfish, clumsy or rough, it can hurt like a mofo! When it’s done right it can be exhilarating, almost a sensual feeling that rivals any other kind of sex. It’s important to consider what to expect the first time getting fingered so that you can both avoid common mistakes.
One of the main problems new virgin couples have is that they let their passions get the best of them and rather than create a comfortable and relaxing environment, they do the first fingering in the car, or in a movie theater—some place that’s less than ideal. This makes both partners tense and maybe even clumsy. The better idea is to host the first time in a quiet place with comfortable surroundings, some place you’re not going to get caught! Furthermore, a bed or a soft couch is preferable.
Much of the journey is spent building trust, increasing intimacy between each other, and getting used to petting and necking, so that inserting fingers will feel like the next natural step. During this time, and especially for a sensitive virgin, a woman must feel properly aroused before any insertion. She must be wet from sexual foreplay, and even if she is plenty wet, extra lube (such as the K-Y brand) always helps and never hurts.
First Time Getting Fingered for the Woman
If you’re wondering what to expect the first time getting fingered, it’s important to answer the question of: do you know how to orgasm and how to make it feel good on your own? Because a woman that has no idea how to masturbate or orgasm in a way that doesn’t hurt, may not be able to guide a clueless man very well, and may help make the experience painful.
A woman should analyze her own private parts and determine what kind of movements are gentle, arousing and could make her orgasmic. Once she realizes this, not only is she able to guide the man and orgasm on her own, but she can also put a stop to anything the man is trying which she knows is just going to hurt. Sometimes men finger in the wrong way, and it takes an educated woman who already knows how her body is going to respond, to tell the man to stop and start over.
Some men are ignorant and may try to finger only a woman’s vagina or only the G-spot, and while all of this can be good, without clitoral stimulation and lots of foreplay, it might not work as well as he thinks.
If you have tried fingering yourself before and can’t seem to orgasm from touching alone, it’s time to practice and determine what gets you there. Fingering is NOT an all-for-one solution because not every woman responds in the exact same way to every touch. Sometimes it takes time to figure out your formula for orgasm and it may require more breast play, more clit rubbing, or even more time fingering the labia, the clitoral hood, and the outer lips. Many women do report being overly sensitive in their clit, especially if they have not been properly aroused. Some women also report better results when they masturbate to porn or read an erotic excerpt.
First Time Getting Fingered for the Woman
What to expect the first time getting fingered really depends on how much education both the man and woman take in. One person assuming he/she knows everything and the other blindly following may lead to unexpected and disappointing results. Men should be taught to be gentle, patient and not strictly adhering to any one idea on where a woman SHOULD be touched. It takes exploration.
Perhaps a man could start with gentle touching and rubbing of the outside area, touching her vaginal lips, inside and out, then rubbing her vagina still under her skirt and panties. Slowing the pace down works much better than quickly firing away at the clit as if the dude is playing a video game!
A man definitely needs to trim his nails for obvious reasons—and so the woman can relax and not worry about him cutting her in a very painful location. If you’re the guy, clean your nails and wash your hands thoroughly.
It also bears mentioning that if the man masturbates before touching the woman, he should wash his hands thoroughly since pregnancy can happen just from one runaway sperm caught on a fingertip.
A man should be very sensitive as to what the woman is feeling on a moment-to-moment basis. If she says stop, or says that something hurts, then stop and go back to the drawing board. If she is sighing and groaning then keep up the pressure in the same way rather than changing it. If she gets excited but then calms back down and you sense she’s not enjoying herself like before, search for a new pattern and experiment, listening to her and sensing what her body is saying.
Vibrators and the First Time Getting Fingered
Vibrators can help a couple who can’t seem to orgasm with just fingering alone. Some women are sensitive to fingering and may groan or become excited, but they may not be able to reach orgasm that way. If that’s the case, a vibrator can help. Vibrators, such as a seven-speed angled vibrator by SVAKOM, can start off very gently for the cautious virgin and then get progressively harder and faster.
In like manner, a man should be able to “adjust” his own fingering speed, going very slow and gentle at first, and then when she is ready, stroking faster, harder and exactly where she wants it.
Remember that it’s irrelevant to discuss if fingering “counts” as a first time, and it’s also irrelevant to worry about whether a cherry “pops”. Many girls actually lose their cherry by accident, well before any sexual intercourse happens. What really matters is that the woman enjoys herself, trusts the guy she’s with, and has a positive first-time sexual experience.
Thanks for reading our article on what to expect the first time getting fingered!