A soft or “small” orgasm is so anticlimactic, isn’t it? Maybe you have a night where you’re feeling so horny and working up so much excitement…and yet when you finish, or your partner finishes, it just goes kaput. It feels like “relief”, but not anywhere near the ecstasy you wanted to experience. If you’re curious about how to have a better orgasm then it’s time to go back to the drawing board and stop doing whatever the routine is now. If you’re a couple and try the same positions on the same day, stop that! If you’re a single person masturbating the same way, stop that! Let’s try something new, shall we?
In terms of couples play, the number one reason most women cannot orgasm as profoundly as they hope to is because there is simply not enough foreplay. Foreplay may be “light” but the more time you spend stimulating the entire body, the more likely you can have a full body orgasm. This type of orgasm is more intense because it involves multiple erogenous zones and a stronger mental fuel.
Of course, foreplay does not simply mean breast play or oral sex. Actually, the cuddling, hugging and other “loving” gestures often shown in monogamous relationships activate more oxytocin, the love drug that occurs naturally and is associated with orgasm and intense erotic feelings.
Another reason why many women don’t orgasm as hard as they want to is because they are simply not wet enough. If you masturbate or have intercourse while dry, or even averagely wet, this can impede orgasmic response. This is why many women prefer to be extra lubed rather than relying on their own natural fluids. Shibari offers a pure water-based lube that is cheap, high quality and safe.
How to Have a Better Orgasm — For Men
Men are sometimes the worst at having stale orgasms, simply because they put too much emphasis on charging full speed ahead and trying to reach the goal. Maybe this is an evolutionary thing where our ancestors tried to impregnate as many women as possible to further his seed—and before they changed their minds! Regardless, men would do well to get out of the habit of seeking intercourse right away, and perhaps even postponing breast play and oral sex. Spend more time kissing, necking, and exploring a woman’s body—perhaps up to an hour before penetration starts.
Don’t underestimate the importance of blood flow when it comes to male orgasm, sperm volume and even erection strength. Viagra is a drug that stimulates greater blood flow and there are also herbal solutions like Yohimbe that works from a similar mechanism. However, a much safer way to get blood flowing is to exercise before or even during sex. Get the heart pumping, get your muscles involved, and feel a more intense orgasm. Time to start trying the Kama Sutra!
Men also have a G-spot, similar to women, and in a similar position for that matter, except it’s accessible through the anus. About two inches inside and up the butt this spot can be pressed for a prostate-enhanced orgasm. Be sure to lube up so that you don’t damage any tissue. If you’re too squeamish to try it that way, you can also indirectly press on it by applying pressure to the perineum.
One of the surest ways to increase the power of an orgasm is to delay orgasm and ejaculation, and this applies for both men and women. Edging refers to when a person works their way up to near orgasm and then takes a step back, gaining control over their muscles. Then, they start again and bring themselves to near orgasm, and again, delay from reaching the end. They do this repeatedly until they DECIDE to orgasm, which means the final moments will be far more intense.
One way to increase your self control, which can inhibit orgasm or ejaculation from occurring, is to build up your pelvic muscles. Kegel exercises help women to form a tighter grip, while men can do the same by flexing their PC muscle in “reps” of ten at a time. Women have it slightly easier in this respect, since they can buy Ben Waa Balls, which are balls that are inserted into the vagina, and kept in a comfortable spot with Kegel pelvic clenches.
Slowing down your breathing is also a technique that works for making orgasms last longer and without the slowdown time needed in between. Concentrate on breathing and slow your breathing rate down. You will notice as you approach orgasm your breathing rate tends to accelerate. Slowing it down gives you more oxygen and blood flow, which helps strengthen climaxes.
Last but not least, getting in better shape physically—dieting and exercise—help to boost health and sex hormones, particularly testosterone in men. It also helps if you have a hulking body to show off to stimulate a partner!
Vibrators and Other Toys That Can Help
Next, if you want to learn how to have a better orgasm, check out some vibrators that have been cited as effective toys for promoting stronger orgasms. The Lelo Gigi 2 is the so-called world’s best selling vibrator and helps to focus pressure on the Gspot at variable speeds. The Ina Wave model also offers simultaneous clitoral stimulation. The Hugo by Lelo is the male vibrator, made for accessing the prostate or P-spot, and it not only vibrates but has a protective double shaft, guaranteeing it can’t get lost inside by deep insertion. Even the simple and affordable Hitachi Wand can be used by men or women, in edge play and in stimulating neglected spots like the perineum.
The best way on how to have a better orgasm is simply to stop rushing and stop assigning sex to just a certain amount of time per day or per week. Instead, learn to enjoy the erotic sensations and build them up for as long as humanly possible to get the full effect.
Thanks for reading our article on how to have a better orgasm!